Friday I came home from work and promptly started to feel like a possum at midnight, wandering around a busy highway, waiting on a semi to plow into me at about 100 MPH. And, around 10:30PM it happened. Sore throat, itchy eyes, headache, snot… the whole works… the sickness came! Thus, I indulged myself in the time-honored tradition of downing ½ a bottle of cough syrup (1½ bottles shy of my normal regiment when I was a teenager… but, that’s a different story for a different AA meeting) and promptly passing the hell out! Saturday morning I awoke to find myself feeling just as, if not more, horrible as I had the night before. Super! So, I decided the only thing for me to do was to have what I refer to as “Crappy Movie Saturday.” There’s never a better time to watch movies that you would, in fact, never watch unless you were stranded on a deserted island or full of mucous and feeling like you just smoked a banana peel through your nose. So, I pressed the “On Demand” button on my trusty remote and sifted through the jumbled maze that is Comcast’s movie selection.

Saturday has now been planned! The first movie I watched was “The Transformers.” Most of you probably don’t know this about me, but I like movies where shit blows up! I don’t much care about character development, plot lines, dialogue or who’s in love with whom. Nope, I pretty much just like cartoons, capers and when shit blows up. Here’s the good thing about Transformers: not only does a ton of shit blow up, but there’s also robots, fast cars and one of the hottest women I’ve ever seen in my life (Megan Fox… oh sweet Lord)! Movie #1 = huge success!

“Smokin Aces,” a caper, was OK. Yes a ton of shit blew up, many many guns were fired and blood was prominent. It’s only problem, in my opinion, was that there were too much blow-em-up scenes and literally NO story at all. I know, I know… there I was earlier saying that I don’t much care about story lines… but there has to be SOME kind of story. And, Alicia Keys = good piano player and vocalist, not a very good actor. Here’s the best part though: Ben Affleck gets shot very early on in the movie!

“The Simpsons Movie!” Do I really need to comment on that one? I’ve quoted Homer Simpson on here many times! He’s like my dad except with funnier one-liners… and he’s a cartoon. Brilliant! Genius! Oscar-worthy! But, let’s face it, it’s an animated flick. It’s not going to appeal to the masses like…

“Raiders of the Lost Ark” My favorite movie of all time! Great action, amazing score, impeccable acting and, let’s face it, that Harrison Ford… well, I think he might just turn out to be a pretty good actor. This movie has everything! The story is interesting and somewhat believable. It factors in the “good vs. evil” in the most prominent way possible… by actually making the Ark of the Covenant the main prop (is that supposed to be capitalized?). It includes amazing special effects, great fight scenes, a pretty woman and lots of evil, evil gun-totin, money-grubbin villains. People’s faces melt right off their skulls at the end of it for cryin out loud! Oh yes, and shit blows up! It’s the best movie ever!

Here’s my point: Candidates don’t just interview at one place. Just like I had thousands of choices regarding movies to watch, candidates have several choices (most of the time) in agencies that they might want to work with. Every market has 20+ established agencies to choose from, and a good candidate can typically pick from at least 3-4 agencies at a time. And, when they look at your agency, what are they going to see? Will it be “The Transformers”, “Smokin Aces”, “The Simpsons” or Indiana Freakin’ Jones?

Candidates are looking for the “Raiders” agencies. They want it all! They want the passion, the energy, the budget, the clients, the love, the hate, the ins and outs! They want shit to blow up! And, if we’re still thinking in movie terms, the trailer for this movie starts with you Mr./Mrs. Hiring Authority! Can you bring ‘em in and put ‘em their seats? Or are they going to be tempted to see that other flick? Are they going to fall in love with your characters, your plots, your twists and turns… your script? Are you “Raiders” or are you “Showgirls?”

You have to remember that YOU are being interviewed just as much as you are interviewing. We are no longer living in a time where agencies get their pick of the litter without showing the candidate some love up front. You have to sell your agency just like you would sell a blockbuster movie…as a “can’t miss this or you might as well be dead” opportunity! You have to sell them on the vision, the dream. You won’t win them all, and you never will. But there’s a reason that people still watch “Raiders of the Lost Ark” 27 years after it first appeared on cinema screens. And, if I’m guessing correctly, there’s a reason that few people will remember “Smokin Aces” even 10 years from now.

Music picks of the week:

Tool – “Undertow” (still amazingly evil after all these years)
No More Kings – “No More Kings” (check out the song “Leaving Liliput”)
Jeff Buckley – “Grace” (#3 on my top 5)

“I’m breathing so I guess I’m still alive.”
Maynard James Keenan

[tags]interview, hiring authority, agency, smokin’ aces, raiders of the lost ark, hiring revolution[/tags]