No Country for Dumb Men
Wanna know how my weekend went? I went out with a girl Saturday night who thought Hawaii was a country. Whu? There’s nothing more disappointing than meeting someone who seems like a unique individual, has the looks to go with it but is dumb as a box of hammers.
I’m an arrogant prick most of the time, and I’ll admit it. I probably have no reason to be, but that’s the way the good Lord made 
me so…deal with it. Given my terms of [tag]employment[/tag], my sole job comes down to the basic task of sizing people up and deciding whether or not they’re a good fit for your [tag]agency[/tag]. Most of the time I’m pretty dead on. Sometimes I suck and other times I’m a Hoover vacuum cleaner!
Now, the aforementioned female was referred to me by a female friend of mine who, obviously, hasn’t quite figured me out quite yet. It was suggested to me that I accompany her and her boyfriend to a local eating establishment where this girl would just happen to join us and…well; who knows…maybe sparks would fly. And, after the evening was over I can promise you that the only sparks present were the ones resulting from her brain trying to work overtime to process the simplest of information. When I say dumb…I mean dumb…like [tag]Brittany Spears dumb[/tag]…like Cedric Benson dumb (right Cedric, neither of the two DUIs you got in the last month were your fault?).
Driving home my mind kept coming back to one point: Did she really think that I was going to like this girl? Talking with her later I realized that she really did, indeed, think that I would be happy meeting her. And, I gave her the benefit of the doubt because she’s a good friend. She’s never steered me wrong before and I couldn’t think that she would maliciously set me up with Twinkletoes, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to stand her within the first 5 minutes. So I gave it the old “no big deal, thanks for thinking of me anyway”. Then I got on my knees and thanked God that he didn’t make me that stupid!
My point is this: Sometimes I’m going to accidentally send you someone who has been able to con me during the screening process only to find out that they can’t count past 8 or that they kill ants with magnifying glasses for fun. It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. Don’t get all bent out of shape on me, just tell me they’re not a fit and will move on with some other [tag]candidates[/tag]. It’s not a big deal. If anything it wasted 20 minutes of your time and you are now and forever saved from ever speaking to said person ever again in your illustrious career. Actually, I’d consider that me doing you a favor! Never mind…you owe me!
Just in case any of you are wondering, HAWAII IS NOT A COUNTRY!!! If you ever find yourself in a situation similar to this, my old friend Ray Morrow from Pittsburgh gave me a great three question [tag]stupidity test[/tag] once that I have used on several occasions.
Posted: June 9th, 2008 under Miscellaneous.