My normal daily routine is just that…a normal and pretty consistent daily routine.  I eat 6 times a day (four times at work) and I eat at the same time every single day.  At exactly noon each day, I have my third meal (which we’ll refer to as lunch) and I troll around on ESPN.com and SI.com for a small break and to read my two favorite columnists, [tag]Bill Simmons[/tag] (The Sports Guy) and [tag]Peter King[/tag] (Monday Morning Quarterback).  I love both of them, but if I had to pick a favorite it would have to be Peter King.  Sorry Bill, I’m not a huge NBA fan and I must admit I HATE BOSTON SPORTS TEAMS…especially Boston College. 

I like King for a number of reasons.  He’s witty, he’s honest and most importantly, he’s the most fair “blogger” that I’ve read within the sports community.  Simmons tends to, at times, come across as a Boston “homer”…which I can’t blame him for.  If I was blessed to write for a sports magazine, I’d write about the [tag]Braves and Falcons[/tag] as much as possible.  Anyway, Peter King is on vacation for the next month, meaning that I’ll have no “MMQ” or, for that matter “TMQ” to read until July.  Insert tear falling down cheek here. 

One of my favorite parts of King’s column is his “10 things I think I think” segment.  So, in the interest of keeping the segment alive while he’s gone, I decided that in this blog I would write about the “10 things I think YOU think, but that you’re wrong about”.  And, by the way, please no one at SI.com sue me!  I’m just a fan that’s wants to pay homage to someone…is that so wrong?!

10 Things I Think You Think But That You’re Wrong About”

1. Paying a [tag]recruiting[/tag] fee is a waste of money.  Wrong chuckles!  Using a third     party recruiter guarantees a dedicated team on your search.  Plus we find people you don’t know about…good people…god-like people!

2. Anyone would want to work for us so we don’t need be expedient with the interviewing process.  The truth is, the longer the interview process, the more likely it is you’ll lose the candidate to an agency that’s ready to pull the trigger faster. 

3. I can find just as many good resumes on job boards as I can through a recruiter.  See #1.  By in large, we don’t use job boards…even our own.  We find passive candidates that already have a job, not job hoppers, unhappy employees or psychopaths!   

4. Lance is a jerk.  I am not.  I simply like to tell you how it is.  Everything that I tell you is for your own good.  I’m trying to help you.  Can you feel me?  Can you? 

5. I should get my money back if a candidate doesn’t work out.  Nope.  I’ve said it before; my job is to find you the best candidates.  Then YOU make a decision as to who to  hire.  I can’t guarantee YOUR hiring decision now can I?  Nope.  And, hey, I give you a replacement clause for cryin out loud!  I technically shouldn’t even do that.  

6. My [tag]agency[/tag] is the only one that Lance is working with.  Sorry folks, if I only worked with one agency I’d be living in a cardboard box surviving on a steady diet of earthworms and discarded cheese curds.  I have to do what’s best for my candidate and, if you’re taking too long to hire them, I’ll take them elsewhere. 

7. A written job description is a sufficient means of helping Lance understand the position.  Oh God please kill me.  As I’ve said a million times, job descriptions are usually terrible.  A job description is as helpful to me as the building instructions for anything from Ikea.  They are, at best, a simple outline of what is needed.  I need details baby!  What makes you tick?  What are your turn-ons?  Do you like em big, tall, small, creepy…help me out?

8. All recruiting firms are the same.  This is one of the biggest misconceptions of all time in my opinion.  I pride myself on the way that I recruit.  I will never pass anyone along to you that hasn’t been fully screened and actually wants to be sent.  Some recruiting firms just send out resumes like candy to any and every agency they have an email address for.  Not I sir.  I only work with candidates that I feel are marketable and I will only send you candidates that I feel are a good fit for the environment.  I focus on quality more than quantity even though I work in a numbers oriented field. 

9. Bud Light not only tastes great, but is less filling.  Oh yeah?!  Drink 18 of them and tell me how “light” you feel! 

10. Lance only cares about money.  ½ of that statement is true.  Yes, I do this to make a paycheck.  Yes, I get paid from you paying me.  But, if I was only doing this for the money, I wouldn’t be writing this damn blog all the time.  There is a part of me that really gets off on the being able to match the right candidate to the right agency.  I really am trying to help you in the best and most efficient way possible.  You just need to help me make it a little easier sometimes. 

Well, there you go kiddies.  My first edition (and probably only) of “Ten Things I Think You Think and That You’re Wrong About”.  I hope you enjoyed it.  And, if you didn’t…well then you suck!  Toodles!

“I don’t feel tardy”

 DLR – Van Halen